Women in Dentistry - Blog

By: Elyte Barzilay

Life as a woman is tough.

You know it and I know it. We are expected to be all things to all people. We are mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, and friends. We are bosses, cooks, cleaners, chauffeurs, and calendar keepers. We are expected to be polite yet powerful, quiet yet forceful, vulnerable yet strong. On top of it all, we have external influences constantly telling us what we need to do to be considered beautiful, lovable, and acceptable.

It’s A LOT (and of course, men aren’t subjected to the same pressures and expectations that we ladies are).

And if you’re anything like me, all of these opposing forces that are at play lead the voices in my head to constantly scream that I am not good enough, strong enough, pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, capable enough, or just generally ENOUGH. To which I say, enough is enough.

Hi! I’m Elyte, the founder and photographer at Elyte Studios, a contemporary portrait studio for women.

Before I was a photographer, I was the girl who never felt like she was enough in all of the ways listed above. Life was waiting for me on the other side of ‘if only’. If only I just lost weight, or got that promotion, or found a good relationship – then my life could actually begin (or improve). Unfortunately, after years of struggling to reach this ‘promised land’, it never materialized. One day I decided to take a huge leap of faith and get my photos taken professionally - and it was the most transformative experience of my life. Not only did it change the way I was able to see myself, it made me want to give that experience to other women, too (including you!!).

I’ve had a very long and complicated journey with learning to accept my body. For the longest time - and I’m not going to lie, from time to time still - I was at war with my body. I was constantly starving it, torturing it, and trying to beat it into submission so that mirror me aligned with brain me. In my mind, only when I achieved my body goals would I be lovable and successful. And spoiler alert – I never, ever got there.

One item on my long-term goals list for when I lost the weight was to have my portrait taken professionally. Despite the fact that I am a photographer now, like most women I am absolutely TERRIFIED of being in front of the camera. I have never liked what I saw looking back at me. Needless to say, the day that I committed to not only having my portrait done, but having it done with all of my “flaws” on full display while wearing lingerie or less was one of the scariest days of my life. It also was the first day of the rest of my life.

It was after this experience that I realized that the version of me that lives in my head and stops me from living my best life is a lie. It’s not true. It doesn’t exist in reality. That’s not me at all - it’s the equivalent of the monster that lives under the bed or in the closet when we were children - and only once we shone a flashlight on it did we realize that it was all a figment of our imaginations.

That’s the purpose of investing in a photoshoot for yourself.

It’s not about vanity, or capturing the way you look, not for posterity (after all, you’ll never be as young as you are right now!) - it’s about showing yourself how amazing you are in a way where you can see it and start to believe it.

I know, I know, I can hear you saying that it sounds cool and all, but it’s just not for you. It’s a vanity project. It’s self-indulgent. It’s frivolous.

To that I say - it’s not.

Not because this is what I do for a living, but because I have had these exact thoughts myself. I have been where you are. I thought it was for anyone else, just not for me. (Please see above as to how actually going through the process changed who I am at my core.)

But a photoshoot - boudoir or portrait or otherwise - is for you if…

• you've recently gained weight
• you've recently lost weight
• you've changed your body composition
• you've experienced a life-changing diagnosis or surgery that has changed your body or your relationship with it
• you've had a hard time accepting what you see in the mirror
• you love who you see in the mirror
• you're pregnant
• you've seen your body change from pregnancy and motherhood
• you're single, getting divorced, are divorced, or getting ready to 'get back out there'
• you're in a relationship, getting married, or have been married for years
• you want to set a positive example of self-love and self-care for the girls and women in your life
• you've lost yourself in your relationship, career, or motherhood
• you want to reclaim your power
• you want to reclaim your body
• you want to reclaim your sexuality or sensuality
• you want to 'find yourself' again
• you want to reconnect with your femininity
• you simply want to celebrate YOU!

These days we talk a lot about self-care. “Get yourself that fancy coffee! Self care!” “Book that facial and massage! Self care!” “Have a bubble bath with a glass of merlot. Self care!”. While these are all fine and good examples of taking a little bit of time to reconnect with ourselves, in the long run, do these small experiences shake you to your core and change you? Probably not - although some massages can be transformative! But what if you took one day out of your daily life to transform into the most incredible version of yourself and had it documented for you to refer to on the days where you are hardest on yourself. What if you could see with your own eyes, without judgment, what everyone else sees in you and loves about you? The good news is that this is not only possible, but can be one of the best days of your life, where you get reacquainted with yourself. A photoshoot is an act of rebellion against societal norms where you get to not only celebrate yourself and your woman-ness, but to also learn to shed all of the weight and pressure you’ve been carrying around forever. When the layers are literally all stripped away and you’re left with just you as you are - right now - you can face those inner demons and see that they were just dust-bunnies instead.

Photography is a way of making and capturing memories. What if you were no longer hesitant to be in front of the camera and as a result you start showing up more fully in all aspects of your life? A professional photography session that is meant to celebrate you for no other reason than being you (sorry, a photoshoot for work doesn’t count!) will help you embrace yourself like never before, and that will trickle down to every other person in your life.

Is it a leap of faith? Sure. Is it scary. Absolutely. Will it change you? YES.