Women in Dentistry - Blog

By: Dr. Sally Safa

You’ve had a full day at the office

Your first patient was ecstatic with their veneers, your receptionist told you that Mr. Smith from yesterday wrote an amazing review for you online, and that new assistant you were hoping would join your team, did. But, your last patient was unhappy with his crown and has insisted you remake it.

You go home and all you remember is that today was the worst day. The entire day is registered as a negative one when it was actually an incredibly positive one except for the last patient.

We can all recall many moments like this. Imagine you are hanging out with friends, having a great time and one friend makes a comment that perturbs you, and that’s all you end up thinking about at the end of the day.

Why do we pay so much attention to the negative comments?

Why do we remember the negative events much more easily than positive ones? Why do we feel uncomfortable when we envision positive things coming our way? This is all described as negativity bias.

The negativity bias, is the notion that, even when of equal intensity, things of a more negative nature (e.g. unpleasant thoughts, emotions, or social interactions) have a greater effect on one's psychological state and processes than neutral or positive things. (Baumeister, 2001)

Why do we remember the bad stuff and pay so much attention to it?

Well…some of it can be explained by evolution. Our cave-dwelling ancestors had to be alert to dangers and constantly scan for “the bad stuff” in their environment as it was a matter of life and death.

But, in the absence of a true threat, negativity bias limits our capacity for enjoying and celebrating our moments. When the negativity bias rules, we get very loyal to our anxiety, mistrust, and vigilance. We cannot inhabit the fullness of our lives. Our beautiful and happy moments are not registered and often tainted by isolated negative moments.

But there is good news.

Even though we are hard-wired through evolution to pay attention to the bad stuff, the degree to which we’re able to override our “default” setting and recognize our negativity bias, then we have options to change and choose to turn towards happiness and joy.

We are now all very familiar with the idea of neuroplasticity. We know that we can rewire the structure and function of our brain. A common denominator among those who are deemed “happy” is a sense that they are actually choosing to be happy. Intentionally turning towards happiness and joy cultivates a pathway that uplifts our minds and undoes the negativity-bias. (Tara Brach)

Basically, you need to put effort into truly valuing all the good and positive aspects of your life

So that you are not overcome by the negative. Even if you are facing a multitude of objectively negative situations, you can try to appreciate the positive aspects of your life, regardless of how small they may be. This is the effort that’s needed to combat the negativity bias.

Bringing awareness to your brain patterns and gently recognizing what is happening when negative patterns start to get activated and practice doing something each and every time—even something very small—to break the pattern. If you know you will overanalyze your day or you get stuck thinking about negative events that happened, then break the loop, go for a walk, put on music that makes you happy, read, do anything that will break the pattern. Over time, this will become a tool you can use to combat the negative brain loop. You will slowly train your brain to de-emphasize the negative and remember and relish the positive.

For many years, I used to think that happy people were just born happy, they were wired to be happy.

What I have come to realize is that being happy takes effort. Serious effort. It is not a passive process, but an active one that takes recognition and intention. It is effort that is well worth it. If you choose to fully immerse yourself in happy moments and then remember them, then you’re well on your way to combating the negativity bias.